Conflict is going to happen in any relationship. When it does, you don't need to shout, cry, attack, or withdraw behind a wall of silence. And you don't need to give up on the relationship, because your next relationship will have conflict as well.
There are actually several things you can do to deal with conflict in a way that helps your relationship. Learn these and you can avoid killing off your relationship when conflict continues to arise.
One of the first things you can do is to learn to breathe. It takes a while to learn this skill, to focus some on your breathing while in the middle of an argument. But just learning to breathe and take a few breathes will help you to stay calmer. This will help you to keep the argument from getting more heated.
Next, understand that conflict causes crappy conduct. Adults act like ten year old's during a conflict. There's screaming, crying, swearing, slamming of doors. It's going to happen during some arguments.
So learn to not take things done or said in an argument too personally. This can take forever to learn, but it is well worth it. In five minutes after an argument, we'll start to act like adults again. Don't let the few minutes of childishness overshadow the good between you.
Another powerful thing to do with conflict is to de-escalate it. Talk in a quieter tone of voice. Don't interrupt your mate. Walk away for a few minutes til you get yourself under control. You don't need to let arguments turn into world war three.
Reconnect with your mate after a fight. Don't let anger turn to poison. Say something like "sorry we went off on each other, are you okay?" Don't go hours or days not talking to each other!
Arguments will happen between any two healthy adults. If you can take some time, breathe, calm things down, and reconnect after wards, then later you can discuss the issues more rationally with your mate. There is a lot more to dealing with conflict in a healthy way, but these things are a good start. It may take months to master any of them, but you should have lots of opportunities to practice. - 29955
There are actually several things you can do to deal with conflict in a way that helps your relationship. Learn these and you can avoid killing off your relationship when conflict continues to arise.
One of the first things you can do is to learn to breathe. It takes a while to learn this skill, to focus some on your breathing while in the middle of an argument. But just learning to breathe and take a few breathes will help you to stay calmer. This will help you to keep the argument from getting more heated.
Next, understand that conflict causes crappy conduct. Adults act like ten year old's during a conflict. There's screaming, crying, swearing, slamming of doors. It's going to happen during some arguments.
So learn to not take things done or said in an argument too personally. This can take forever to learn, but it is well worth it. In five minutes after an argument, we'll start to act like adults again. Don't let the few minutes of childishness overshadow the good between you.
Another powerful thing to do with conflict is to de-escalate it. Talk in a quieter tone of voice. Don't interrupt your mate. Walk away for a few minutes til you get yourself under control. You don't need to let arguments turn into world war three.
Reconnect with your mate after a fight. Don't let anger turn to poison. Say something like "sorry we went off on each other, are you okay?" Don't go hours or days not talking to each other!
Arguments will happen between any two healthy adults. If you can take some time, breathe, calm things down, and reconnect after wards, then later you can discuss the issues more rationally with your mate. There is a lot more to dealing with conflict in a healthy way, but these things are a good start. It may take months to master any of them, but you should have lots of opportunities to practice. - 29955
About the Author:
You can learn much more about intimacy fulfillment in the free course 7 Vital Intimacy Insights Your Mamma Couldnt Teach You at How To Have The Loving Relationship You Want. Johnnie S Laney teaches social intelligence classes and you can get more here Love Relationship Advice Help.
